AUTUMNAL EQUINOX

sually, the equal light, half day, half night, falls on Ewan‘s birthday
September 22nd

It’s odd — not this year

Not this second sepia season of shawls and sipping tea without him

A season of soccer and sneakingly early sunsets

When school sets in and maple trees drop their helicopter seeds as they rub their tired eyes and fall to sleep

It’s odd — my son is not here

To scoop up tawny leaves baked by the last of sun’s amber light

When the crunch underfoot is muted by a child’s laughter

Leaves billow up into the air and mist down in slow motion, like dried, paper feathers

They come to rest on his head — sticks stuck in his golden, shaggy hair

Hair the color of straw

He smells of kiln dried earth — fresh and organic

A balanced, wholesome aroma

Half lighten and lively like baby shampoo, half composting as rain-soaked, decaying, sweet soil

I cannot fill my lung enough with the smell of him

I look to the west and hang my head this equinox

If I could run to the darkness holding Persephone’s hand

With a convivial heart I would go and wish him happy belated birthday

It’s odd — on this other shore

Remembering the equal light, half day, half night

Swelling with gratitude for the seasons I’ve known — the light, the love, the birth of a child

But then there is the dark, the death, the tears that don’t dry

The seasons I’ve known

Knowing they will come around again

Balancing the certain and uncertain all the same time makes for a very heavy hearted Libra

Seasons bring change

They bring promise

It’s odd — to still be longing for what is in store

This constant tug of love and loss and lingering hope for more

Our strain to make sense and find beauty in balance

And our eternal hope for the future, even a future where we know the sun sets in the west

It’s odd — next year

It will be even

I know; I checked the Farmers’ Almanac

Author, researcher, mother living on an island near Seattle. Now, notably, an international bunny smuggler. Find her struggles and snuggles at www.teamewan.com

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